Watched: June 27, 2019
Kegger Rating: 1 Star
MM Rating: 1 star
Kegger’s Review:
I joked to MM that this was the worst movie ever as I was watching it. No, it’s not the worst movie ever. But it’s damned close.
Full disclosure – I was so disappointed in the opening of this movie that I split my focus between it and my cell phone. I fully blame the movie, though. And MM for turning the movie on.
First off, Liam Neeson, everyone. I love that guy. He’s gone a little down the rabbit hole with all of the Taken-esque movies that he’s been making. This one tried. It tried hard to have that same energy, that same urgency, and it failed at every turn.
Not only that, but the plot was just… weak. Really, really weak. Most of the time, there’s no explanation for how he’s making conclusions that get him where he’s going. The rest of the time, he’s literally explaining the previous scene in full detail for literally no reason.
All in all, this Bourne Identity wannabe is just… well, it’s sad. It’s just sad. I feel bad, guilty even, for not enjoying a Liam Neeson movie, but there it is.
By the way January Jones and Diane Kruger did what they could with their characters, but they didn’t really have much to work with.
Annoyed, and now I need to find a movie that’s a palette cleanser.
MM
Well, that just wasn’t any good.
The premise was okay, and I like me a good Liam Neeson adventure, but it’s sort of like they took a terrible 80s action movie and tried to convince us that it’s important, high suspense.
Absolutely nothing that happened was believable. In the beginning, we see an extremely resourceful cabbie – Diane Kruger – shatter multiple car windows to retrieve an unconscious Liam Neeson from a quickly submerging vehicle. His heart stops, but – shockingly – they get him going again with a few zaps (see what I did there? SHOCKINGLY??).
We go downhill from here, with Diane Kruger falling in love with Liam Neeson for absolutely no reason, convincing him of redemption, weird amnesia / fictional memory implants. Kegger said this was a bad Bourne Identity, but it’s so much worse than that. It’s a bad Bourne Identity mixed with a worse Total Recall mixed with Steven Seagal’s worst day.
Boris Balkan from the Ninth Gate showed up out of nowhere. It was my favorite part of the movie. I’m not saying he wasn’t worth it, but…yeah…one star.