Watched: January 18, 2019

Kegger Rating: 2 Stars

MM Rating: 1 Star

Kegger’s Review:

Going in, I was skeptical.  Like the recent Ghostbusters with the all-female main cast, I had my doubts that this would live up to the level of Ocean’s 11 or 13 (I’m not talking about 12.  That movie wasn’t my favorite). 

Unfortunately, I was right.  Yes, the cast was a who’s who in female actors – heavyweights that on their own can hold a movie with little problem.  Put together, they should have had no problem. 

But they weren’t utilized to their strengths.  Sandra Bullock, one of my favorites, seemed to go through this movie with little humor, and even less joy.  Her role as the leader, plotter fell incredibly flat.  Cate Blanchett, another of my favorites, was thrust in the Rusty role, but without the self-deprecation and humor that existed in the original movie, that makes the role fun and mysterious (how does he know things?  How long have he and Danny Ocean been friends? Does he ever stop eating?).  Instead, I didn’t care about the mystery that comes with the role – a hint at a relationship between her and Bullock’s characters is the most we get, and even then, it’s ham-handed.  Helena Bonham Carter, who has been everything from a crazy dark witch to the wife of King George VI, was interesting in a nervous role, but the need to make her accent Irish is inexplicable, nor are they using her to her full extent.  Anne Hathaway perfects the snobby, high-maintenance actress each time she plays one, but again, boring.  Mindy Kaling was barely used, too.  Loved Rhianna’s character, but again, little to no humor. 

The plot could have been interesting, if only they had rethought the flow.  Instead, they relied way too much on the flow of the Ocean’s 11 movie, seemingly trying to recreate it scene for scene.  If they had borrowed a few ideas from Ocean’s 13, starting almost from the end and using flashbacks, I would have been way more interested. 

It bothers me, really bothers me, that filmmakers are deciding to create movies for women in this way – taking a story and trying to recreate it with women characters.  Not only does the new film typically not live up to its original, it does a terrible disservice to the women who are part of the movie.  Not to mention the fact that other original stories, possibly even written by women, are getting ignored for these recreations.  And the fact that these recreations are falling short is “proving” that female driven movies aren’t as profitable as the male version. 

Two stars is all I can give it – an attempt was made.  It had potential.  The plot could have been good.  If only. 

MM Review:

Well, shit.

I didn’t like the all-female Ghostbusters remake because I felt like it was all-around boring, and the characters weren’t given enough to do.  Now I don’t like this all-female Ocean’s remake because I felt like it was all-around boring, and the characters weren’t given enough to do.  I’m in danger of lumping myself into the rabidly misogynistic fanboy group.

It’s inevitable to compare this to the newer Ocean’s 11, and maybe that’s why it seemed so lackluster.  Maybe if this tried to stand on its own, it would’ve been “just okay” instead of “not very good”.  The setup is the same as 11, with a certain D Ocean getting out of jail and rounding up a gang of loveable thieves to pull a job.  After that, it continues to imitate, but typically fails.

The chippy friendship between the two leads never comes close to the chemistry of Danny and Rusty, though that’s clearly who they’re emulating.  In fact, the two leads are mostly unlikeable.  Sandra Bullock’s character is arrogant, which worked for George Clooney’s character, but she’s also cold and distant.  I never cared about her or her cause, and I didn’t get the feeling that she cared about any of her gang either.

The rest of the gang was more likeable, but felt largely incompetent.  We have the aloof hacker genius, insistent on a random nickname, who can toggle a single flat’s lighting system with a click of the enter button.  I assume they rebranded her from the Italian Job.  We also have a Helena Bonham Carter as a fashion designer, but required her to use an Irish accent.  Why was that necessary?  Not-Leslie-Mann is an utterly forgettable fence, and then there’s the Asian woman that plays a cooler Linus.  Anne Hathaway was probably the most amusing, in a bratty way. 

The heist itself was eye-rolling and dull.  The planning didn’t feel fun, and the twists were predictable.  Perhaps the worst was the mid-planning sequence of the two main characters arguing about a love interest, which felt more like a desperate wink toward 11 than any kind of plot point.  This love interest / revenge interest was worse than underdeveloped and boring. A reason is given, at least, but the character is never given any screen time. At a guess, I’d say he speaks three complete sentences leading up to the climax.

I’ve been trying to find something good about each movie we watch, to try to counterbalance my innate cynicism, but I’ve got nothing for this one.